Let's Reminisce

Dear Portland,
Do you ever think about high school? How when you are 15 years old and in 10th grade, the kind of regularity you have. Your next day is planned out, the week, the month. Do you ever think about how easy it was in comparison to being a grown up. Do you ever think about how much you cried in high school? Do you remember how much you laughed? Do you remember how important everything was but relish the feeling of not having a care in the world.

It's a beautiful thing.
But one of the hardest feelings to hold on to.

I have been thinking about high school. I have been thinking about what kind of person I was back then, what I thought I wanted to do. How my life was going go. I have been thinking about how working 3 days a week gave me all the money I needed. Not now. I work three days a week and I can't stand it. Not because I want money (although I need to get real, cuz I need money), but to work because I really do love to work.

I have been thinking about how in high school, I could be as non-confrontational as I wanted. If I didn't feel like standing up for myself to someone of authority there was no shame in getting my parents to do it for me. But now, it's all me. I have got to take care of myself. Sure my parents would step in if I let me but I'm not like that anymore. I can and will stand up for myself. I can and will take responsibility, and point out where someone else might need to do the same.

I still hate confrontation, I'm still shy, soft spoken, and generally don't like fighting. But sometimes, you just gotta get what you deserve.