Is That Really What You Think Of Me?

Dear Portland,
When I was on the road, driving away from you at uncalculated speeds (my speedometer is a little wonky), I encountered a douche bag semi truck driver on I-84 E. I thought I would share it with you as told to my friend Landon.

So I'm driving along in my cute little truck singing really loud to the music I am blasting (thanks to Andy & Victor). I change lanes to pass this truck, but for some reason I can't speed up enough to pass him. I then come to realize he is speeding up to match me, and is also trying to get my attention. I ignore his efforts and continue to accelerate up to about 100mph, or somewhere around there. Not so good for my truck on a hot day mind you. Once I am pretty far ahead of him, I resume a more acceptable speed. Then I noticed he has quickly caught up to me and is tailgating me persistently. I switch lanes. He then proceeds to drive even with me for about 5 miles (5 long minutes) all the while trying to get my attention. I continue to semi-successfully ignore him. Again he speeds ahead of me, honks his horn, and finally, I look up, "maybe my tailgate fell off or something..." But no. I see that he is waiving around a piece of paper with his phone number on it! I think to myself, "You have got to be kidding me. Does he actually think I will call him up and tell him to meet me at the rest stop for a goddamn quickie? WTF?"

Oh, and by the way, on the cargo part of his semi, it says LUBRICANTS.

AHA! There is a rest stop coming up. I turn on my blinker. As does he. I let him catch up and stay close behind me. We get to the exit lane and I keep a steady speed. As does he. He starts to slow down to exit and at my last chance I speed up and hop out of the exit lane while he can do nothing but proceed to the rest stop. I then realize, damn, I need gas. I book it to the next gas station where i fuel up, take out my computer, upload some photos, look at a map, charge my iPod, and triumphantly continue on my way.

So dearest Portland, that is really the only thing of consequence that happened on my escape from you. We can each take some much needed time to heal and mature. Which makes me think that my decision to put our active relationship on hold was the right one. If nothing bad happened, and nothing serious pulled me back, this is right. My departure was right. And maybe now, my future can also be right.