The Earth Stood Still

Dear Portland,
I got a lot done today. I cleaned my whole apartment (which isn't saying much) went to get groceries, made banana bread and had dinner with Mary and her boyfriend who is a state trooper by the way.

Unfortunately I burned the banana bread. Major bummer.

A little bit after I pulled the sad bread out of the oven, Mary came up and invited me to dinner. Score! That is all awesome and great but why couldn't this have happened when I didn't have any food and was starving. Needless to say it was delicious. Gourmet meatloaf, butternut squash, asparagus, gravy, and homemade bread. I know you won't believe me when I tell you I ate it all (except the onions), but I did. Unfortunately I think she though I didn't like it because I didn't eat that much. My stomach definitely shrunk this week because I ate so little, having no food and no money and all... Oh well, if she reads this, it was awesome.

What I really want to talk about was the grocery store. I feel like I should be counting mullets and taking stealthy pictures because there is definitely an over abundance here. All different shapes, lengths, and sizes. It is a sight to be seen dear Portland. While shopping for food I was in a sort of daze, 2pm and I hadn't eaten yet and we all know grocery shopping when you're hungry is always the worst idea. So I'm in the baking aisle (I find myself there even when I don't really need anything), and a couple walks by. They match, with mullets. No joke. These two are the most well kept mullets I have ever seen. Seriously. Perfectly short and buzzed business on top, sticking straight up, and a long, well brushed party in the back. All the while I'm observing this particular phenomenon "Well Respected Man" by The Kinks is playing from the store speakers. SERIOUSLY?! I have no idea whats going on and I grab some vanilla extract while they stop at the artificial sweeteners and start to argue. It's all I can do to keep my eyes to myself and literally taking out my phone to snap a stalker photo. I resist, finish my shopping and leave.

Oh man what a day.