Discombobluated Clarification

Dear Portland,
I really wanted to post last night as usual but the internet at my house has been acting up. Maybe there will be two posts today? We'll see.

On Tuesday I talked to Melanie and she could tell that I was really not interested in the needle felting class, at all. We dumped that idea quickly. I wrote my class descriptions for beginning knitting for kids and got the classes posted! Melanie, the shop owner, asked me to write a little "about me" something for the newsletter that goes out on Monday. I did that today. While I was at the shop, one of Melanie's tenants, Allissa, was at the store and I talked with her about organic food and  and other things. I asked her is she knew about a laundromat that is NOT connected to a casino, and she offered to let me do my laundry at her house! That will happen tonight. She is really sweet and cool AND SHE KNITS! It seems to be hard to find people my age who knit here.

Also yesterday I went to coffee shop with my slightly incognito downstairs neighbor, Dillon. Remember those cookies I made for them, yeah well he bought me coffee as a thank you. Very nice, very cool guy. Basically my first real conversation (more than 10 minutes) with someone my age. He also has a friend who knits who I hope he will hook me up with. That all was really nice.

I went to the Public Assistance Office today to turn some things in so my May food stamps will be allocated. Then I went to All Pro Rental to pay my rent and deliver some big news.

I gave notice. But I gave a two month notice ensuring that they will have a tenant in July. Plans are ever changing. So far, this experience has taught me things I didn't expect I needed to learn. I will be going back to Portland after my session of classes is finished. Now before you throw your two million arms up in disbelief Portland, obviously nothing is set in stone for me. If I make crazy money teaching at Camas Creek Yarn I will probably figure something to stay for the rest of the summer. But like I said, everything changes, almost daily.

I could go off and try to explain what has happened to me here and what is still in progress, but really, I would rather tell you in person next time I see you. That is, if you are interested. For now my simple answer is, Kalispell has been exactly what I needed.

I miss you Portland and I have serious plans for you and I when I return. We will still have to have a serious talk though. I want to know how you have changed and you must try to understand how I have changed.
I know there is a way we can coexist.

System Overload

Dear Portland,
I have many things going on in my head at the moment. I have been putting off writing to you for the past 5 hours partly because I'm watching LA Ink, and partly because I can't seem to get my brain to organize everything that I have been thinking up.

But as it turns out, I can be a "big picture" girl. I just needed a little push. Well more like a shove into the middle of oncoming traffic. But you know, I'm stubborn. I worked it all out. I am very tired now and I owe you one big explaination. I promise, It's on the way.
Just sit tight.

It Was Kind Of A Big Deal

Dear Portland,
I have come to find that coming up with the "big picture" is not exactly my jam. I get overwhelmed, stressed and generally panicky.  Not good. I like details. I like thinking of a potential problem that no one else thought of and coming up with a radical solution. It's what I'm best at. I came up with a big picture today and am damn proud of it. The details will come in time but for now, this was my responsibility and after a fit of kicking and screaming and pounding my fists on the kitchen floor, I did it. All by myself.
What is my big picture you may ask? Well in a as little words as necessary:

Six weeks of beginner knitting for three different age groups, twice a week.

I have to present my case tomorrow and I plan to lay it out just like one of those hot shot suits (well not exactly, I hope to be much more personable and far less androgynous, and minus the ugly suit). But I am confident in this big picture and confident that the details will work themselves out. It will be a lot of work and a lot of time spent but I'm stoked. I have high hopes of it being well received.

How about some unrelated news Portland?
There are A LOT of long boarders here. The weird thing is, I never actually see anyone skating. They just seem to carry them around and talk about long board stuff with their buddies on street corners. It's very strange. I know they must skate somewhere because they talk about how "the ride" is. But I don't know anything about "the ride" so maybe they are just making it all up.
Fooled me I guess. Carry on.

Sunday Finally Came And I Am Unimpressed

Dear Portland,

Today I saw the moon out in the day time. It was in a part of the sky that I have never seen it in. This picture is from one of my all time favorite sites.

I listen to several Podcasts, a majority of them being kind of science-y. I like science. But not in the way of being stuck in a lab and reading textbooks that are constantly becoming insignificant with each new publication. I like listening about science. Listening while I do other things; like cleaning the kitchen, writing postcards, or just sitting quietly looking at photos of outer space.

I have been thinking a lot here in Montana. Had some minor epiphanies. Some about me personally and some completely not related to anything, except maybe science.

I'm going to the yarn shop tomorrow to hopefully hammer out the details of the wet felting workshop I will be teaching.

What Do You Mean It's STILL Not Sunday?

Dear Portland,
I did almost nothing today. Yes I know I was going to go to the Farmers Market, but somehow I turned off my alarm (I don't remember this happening at all) and went back to sleep until 1pm. I know I was supposed to go out and explore the local vendors but I guess I just needed to sleep. It would have been painful anyway because I can't buy anything.

I was feeling" out of sight out mind" today and stuck in some weird depression. So I got on Skype with my sister and she taught me about Ayurveda and my Dosha. That was really cool and gave me some things to be more conscious about in my body and mind. I learned that my mind is much more stable then I thought and once I get my body in balance everything will start to feel better and make more sense. While she was teaching me I was making books. I made four today. It was really nice. I felt productive.
The books I made are from salvaged vinyl album covers that my Dad had. A couple years ago I picked through the ones I might be able to use for something, not knowing what for.
The Beatles Sergent Pepper's Album was the theme. Obviously.

*I don't have a favorite, this is simply the way they lay out on my workspace.

What Do You Mean It's Not Sunday?

Dear Portland,
Today I stayed in bed. ALL DAY. I felt fine, a little homesick, but generally just tired and wanting to stay in bed. I watched some movies (Food Inc. & Driving Miss Daisy), didn't really eat much (because of Food Inc.), called the gas company to check on my heating bill, and was generally all around lazy. I figured I deserved it. This past week I did a lot. Applied to all 8 places I want to work, got my shower working, paid my parking ticket, knit 2 hats and one legwarmer, and listened to a bunch of podcasts. And while I know that that is a fraction of what you and your 2 million significant others do in a day Portland, I am content. I am beginning to be content here. I'm slowing down, Im looking around, really looking, and listening.
With all this 70 degree weather I have been craving the forest. I'm really wanting to get a feel for the land here. I don't know what it looks like or smells like. I don't know what plants are where, not that it's a world of difference, but I know where to look for everything in the Oregon/Washington forests. I think maybe this weekend I will ask around/do some research and find a close place to go for a hike. And take Mary's dog with me. That would be wonderful.

It was a quiet day in my life and in my mind so there is not much report. Tomorrow I'm going to the Farmer's Market. Big day.

It Was That Day Of The Week

Dear Portland,

When I woke up today I felt like there was something I had to do, like I had an appointment or something I had to "get ready" for. Then I realized it was Thursday. Thursdays are the days I went to Waldrof every week to substitute for aftercare.  I hadn't really thought about my kids in much length until now. I miss them. I miss the atmosphere. I miss the authority and control. But I think what I miss more was the act of going to the school, seeing all the teachers, talking to them, and talking to the kids and their parents. I love talking to the parents (that care) about what new discovery their kid made today, or how an older sibling is starting to understand their growing responsibility. It's a captivating phenomena to watch a child become a person, to learn about the world, themselves, interactions, and social conduct.

That's what I was thinking about today Portland. And I have a feeling that you were thinking about it too. Your relationship with those kids is through me and I know they remembered it was Thursday today.