Out of Practice Fingers

Today I filled a custom order I had for two guestbook type books (one for Flora and one for Wolf's Apothecary). It is often very hard for me to do custom orders. Mostly because every piece is one of kind and I'm always worried that the customer is not going to like what I end up creating. It's a weird thing to have someone see something I make and then want something a tiny bit more specific to them, but still have total trust in my style.

I had a plan when I went down to my basement studio this morning when it was still dark outside at 9am. I knew the binding I wanted to use, I knew the shape and size and color of leather. I spent an or so hour folding down paper (one of my favorite parts of the process) and took out a big piece of un-dyed cowhide. I worked. I cut and folded and sewed for three or four hours and when the book was finished, it was nothing like what I had planned in my head. I had unconsciously changed everything. The amount of pages, the binding, the orientation, the hardware. When I looked at the clock after I put the book in a press (ha! by press I mean a stack of really heavy books), I had no idea so much time had passed. Because the process is so clear to me and each step follows it's predecessor so beautifully I never feel like it takes me as long as it sometimes does.

I went upstairs for some soup and a smoke. While my tomato soup was heating up I was planning out what the next book would look like. I had even laid out the leather I wanted to use before I left my studio. But once again, after a few hours passed I looked at a second finished book that looked nothing like what I had planned.

This may not be surprising to most artists, but my work needs to be planned. There is math involved. The functionality of every book I make is imperative. The aesthetics and style come second. So today, to go in with a plan and come with something completely different is just... surprising. I feel like I don't experience very much surprise as an artist but I'm pretty pleased with what magically happened today.

I have been wanting to "mix medias" lately. Adding fabric and other textiles in with the leather and I unknowingly experimented with that idea today. It was pretty great and I'm feeling inspired. And since these books are being purchased (I've got to stop giving these guys away) I will get a little money to restock on some much needed supplies. Th wheels are turning and there will be more to come!

Vacation

Plans for the vacation:

Wednesday - DO NOTHING!

Thursday - A friend plays wonderful music!

Friday - A friend does Shakespeare and we spend the day in San Francisco (includes going to a Japanese tool store in Berkley!!!).

Saturday - Scottish Games. A friend flies her beautiful birds of prey.

Sunday - Horse Races and a group of friends plays wonderful music!

Monday - Small town labor day festival!

Tuesday - Nana Tuesday (best friends family day)!

Wednesday - GO TO REDWOODS and camp!

There may be a post or two while I'm away but also, don't expect much. I'm enjoying my first time to relax (for more then a 2 days at a time) in NINE MONTHS. I'm enjoying it already.


Shhhhh... I'm vacationing. 

The End is in Sight

This is the last week of camp for the summer and good golly am I burnt out! Tomorrow is the last day and I couldn't be more ready. My vacation is scheduled. Ms. Sadie is going into hiding and I get to be just Sadie for 4 glorious weeks!

I should be going to sleep right now but I just wanted to post a little something about what has been going on this week. Basically I'm a bad teacher this week. I'm tired, cranky, and have very little patience. BUT, I decided to tell the kids a story today during rest time instead of re-reading another chapter from the book we have been reading all summer. When I was nannying for that awesome 3 year old she wanted to hear stories all the time so I made up this little forest community with Mr. & Mrs. Silver Fox at the center. Today I started out my story like this; "I want to tell you guys about some friends of mine." I went on to tell the kids about a swimming excursion that I made up as I went along and when I was finished, I had a lot of questions.

I didn't consider the age group I had, 4-10. Ten year olds start to question everything, and some of them stop believing in magic. There was my 10 year old girl asking if it was a true story. If they were animals how were they my friends? Did the Foxes really tell me to share their story? How do I know them? And so on. By the end of the interrogation this girl was confused but really wanted to believe that I am friends with these animals and they let me share and retell their adventures. I ended up crediting my special knowledge to magic and a special relationship that only comes from great listening skills. She seemed satisfied for the time being and I felt good about forcing some mystery on this girl (she likes solid answers). She is new to the school and has a lot of magic and mystery coming her way so why not start now?

Tomorrow is the last day and we get to break up the routine with an ice cream social and popsicles. Yay treats! I gotta get some sleep though to be able to handle the sugar high.

UPDATE on the boys from the Heartbreak post: There was a meeting and things are all worked out. Parents are calmed and no one is making us keep them apart. Boys will be boys I say.


Also, I love this.

Heartbreak

There are these two boys at camp. They are like soul brothers. They love each other so much it hurts. It hurts to see how much they love each other and how well they know each other. This makes it hard for them to be friends. They are both a little socially challenged (more so then other 2nd graders) and this makes it especially difficult for them to be easy going friends. For most of camp their play together has been highly monitored (increasing in the last week or so) and we have spent a great deal of time diffusing arguments and reminding them that even when we love our friends deeply, it can be important to take breaks and find new friends to play with.

This week, with the influence of their parents, their school-year teacher, and the kids themselves, we have come back to the decision that they simply cannot play together. This breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces. To see the way these boys react when the other arrives in the morning is one of the purest and most beautiful forms of affection I can ever remember encountering. It is truly something special.

Unfortunately, their arguing and communication skills are not developed enough for them to play together without there being an aggressive outburst (which can sometimes lead to violence). All I want for the two of them is to be happy and enjoy camp and really enjoy each other. None of the other campers, even their classmates understand these boys like they so clearly understand and sincerely know each other.

My hope for them is that with time apart, and the help of adults and peers around them, they can develop the necessary skills to form a deep and lasting brotherly bond. I know from experience that the true friends you make in elementary and middle school can last longer then you or anyone else expect.

Favorites

        As a student you are told that teachers don't have favorites. That they like and love all of their children equally. That's all well and good and could quite possibly be true, but in my experience, I have favorites. Maybe that makes me a bad teacher or maybe that's just one of the secrets they never tell you. 

 I have become a human jungle gym at camp this year. I have even had to make restrictions on which kids can climb on me (kindergarten only) and had to tell them sometimes that they are too rough or that I am not strong enough to hold them a certain way because in fact, I am not as strong as their father. This 5 year old boy is my favorite. I'm not usually one for the kindergarten age, but oh man. This kid is just great.

Today he was climbing on me after lunch and got a little too excited and I told him (and his climbing companion) that I simply could not support both of them at the same time and it was making my back a little sore. He apologized and proceeded to give me a back rub! His concern was so sweet and so kind that I just wanted to squeeze him! The two of them (4 year old grumpy girl) proceeded to climb then rub my back in between to make sure I was holding up okay. Too damn precious.

At the end of the day, around pick-up time the grumpy girl was climbing on me while I was standing. It ended up with me holding her ankles while she hung upside down behind me. I then pulled her straight up and bend down forward. She easily perches herself on my back sitting backwards, giggling and yelling at her Dad to look. While it may be hard and somewhat exhausting, I can be a human jungle gym for giggles like that any day.

Two weeks of camp left then Ms. Sadie is retired for four weeks and I can just be Sadie.

House Sitting

I used to love house sitting. That was before I had my own house. Where everything is mostly how I want it to be and it is all familiar and my routines are set and easy. I haven't been asked to house sit since I moved in. Until now.

I do love this house though. I feel like whenever I am here I have a little vacation where all I do is watch TV and take baths and read crazy science or magic books. It's so great. Sometimes friends will come over for a couple hours but then they leave and it's like I'm in a different city again. I take walks with the dog and go down to the grocery store for chocolate or juice. I also take the highway to get almost anywhere which I hardly ever do. It's close enough that I can just hop on and hop of at the exact right spot.

Totally awesome.

Not to mention this guy:

Computer Crash

I realize that I said I was going to post something from camp everyday and have not. I do apologize, but this time it was out of my control. My computer hard drive crashed. I lost everything. Things I'm still remembering I had saved, I lost. Things I have forgotten about are gone and I won't be able to rediscover them. I can't blame anyone but myself which may be the most frustrating part. I did not back anything up. I did not have copies of things saved in safer places. Completely devastating and completely my own fault.

It's a strange thing to remember the comfort I had in all those firefox bookmarks (I must have had more than 70 with all the recipes, projects, blogs and other miscellaneous sites), apple sticky notes, word docs, pdf's, and not to mention pictures. Three years worth of photos. Three years worth of memories totally erased. Granted not entirely from my memory but the only semi-physical proof of them. It feels so odd.

I thought I was going to just be weeping about it but surprisingly enough I haven't cried at all. Which is really weird because I cry all the time. Maybe I need this sort of freedom. To restart and rejuvenate.

I'm still not excited about it but maybe I can just handle it and try to let it be a thing that happened instead of the WORST THING EVER. I'm sad but I'm handling it.

It happens all the time right?